Trump Lists White House on Zillow: “Make Me an Offer I Can’t Refuse”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has stunned political analysts, real estate agents, and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, former President Donald J. Trump has announced that he is…
White House Announces Donald J. Trump is the New Pope
In a surprise announcement early Thursday morning, the White House confirmed that former President Donald J. Trump has been elected as the new Pope of the Catholic Church, a move…
“The Left Falls for Grandpa Don: A Senile Revolution”
In a stunning twist that has political analysts blinking at their screens like Windows 95 computers, former President Donald J. Trump has seen a meteoric rise in approval ratings among…
“Shedeur Sanders Finally Drafted… But Not to the NFL — Welcome to the U.S. Army!”
After months of speculation and mock drafts, Shedeur Sanders has finally heard his name called — but not by an NFL team. Instead, it was Uncle Sam on the line,…
Trump Unveils 5D Chess Strategy, Leaves Experts, Scientists, and Time Itself Confused
In a move that has baffled political analysts, physicists, and several farm animals, former President Donald Trump announced today that he is “already winning” at 5D chess — a game…