“Shedeur Sanders Finally Drafted… But Not to the NFL — Welcome to the U.S. Army!”

After months of speculation and mock drafts, Shedeur Sanders has finally heard his name called — but not by an NFL team. Instead, it was Uncle Sam on the line, and he wasn’t offering a rookie contract, he was offering boots and a helmet. In a shocking twist, Shedeur is now QB1 for Team USA… literally. Rumor has it his first play will be a Hail Mary straight into basic training. Forget the Super Bowl dreams — it’s time for push-ups, obstacle courses, and saluting everything that moves. Sources say Coach Prime is still trying to negotiate a NIL deal with the Army.